circ_bamboo (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
circ_bamboo) wrote2011-02-07 09:50 pm
circ_bamboo) wrote2011-02-07 09:50 pm
Entry tags:
DVD commentary track
Pick a passage from my stories, up to 500 words, from anything I've written in this journal, and comment to this post with that selection (including a link to the story being excerpted). I will then give you a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the story, awful puns [perhaps], and anything else that you'd expect to find on a DVD commentary track.
Knock yourselves out. Most of my stuff is under this tag: Star Trek. If you really want to know about the single Castle story or the NCIS story, um, damn. Thanks? They're under the links to the fandoms directly.
Knock yourselves out. Most of my stuff is under this tag: Star Trek. If you really want to know about the single Castle story or the NCIS story, um, damn. Thanks? They're under the links to the fandoms directly.
no subject
If Pike didn’t know her so well, he may not have been able to tell the subtle difference between her stillness before she was awake and after. He can see it, though, easily, in the line of her shoulder, so close to him; he can hear it in her breath, barely altered, but obvious enough to him. He wishes he could hide the fact that he’s awake, but he can’t. Not only is it too late; but she’s Illyrian, and the icing on the cake is that she knows him nearly as well as he knows her.
“Chris?” she says, a long moment later. Her voice is heavy and languorous with sleep, and he grits his teeth against the reaction that a beautiful woman in bed with him saying his name in that tone would normally produce.
It’s too late. He responds, nonetheless. “I’m awake.”
She pushes herself up with one hand and turns to face him. “How are you feeling?”
“I’m fine,” he says, and sits up—or, rather, tries to. He barely raises his head more than a few inches. “Ow.”
“You have a concussion,” she says. “Don’t move.”
“I have a concussion?” he says. “I don’t remember getting one.”
She smiles. “You won’t. Well, you may later.”
“Huh,” he says. “What happened? Away mission gone bad?”
She nods.
“You know,” he says, “normally, this isn’t how I’d prefer to wake up in bed with a beautiful woman.” He smiles, to show that it was a joke.
She smiles as well, but it’s bittersweet. “That’s the third time you’ve said that.”
He can feel his brows meeting in the middle of his forehead as he frowns. “What?” He clearly doesn’t remember that.
“You were hit on the head down on the planet; it was unclear as to whether you had a concussion or not. Dr. Boyce released you with strict instructions to be woken every hour, and I volunteered.” She gestures to the bathroom that connects their quarters. “I came in to wake you up two hours ago, and you didn’t know what had happened, so I stayed. The second time I woke you up, you didn’t remember the first time, and this—” She gestures elegantly. “This was the third time. I would have taken you to Sickbay before, but you insisted that we try a third time, for proper scientific principles.”
“Oh.” He’s still confused, but it’s starting to make some sense.
“So let’s get you down to Sickbay now,” she says, and swings her legs off the side of the bed.
“Okay,” he says. She helps him sit up slowly, and replace his shirt and boots. He stands, also slowly, also with her help, and they begin what will probably be an interminable trek to Sickbay.
“So how many times have I woken up next to you?” he asks. He can blame it on the concussion later.
She slants a glance at him. “I apologize for joining you on the bunk, but you were quite insistent that it was ridiculous for me to stay in the chair.”
“No apologies needed,” he says. “Three times, then?”
She nods.
“I’m sorry I don’t remember,” he says. He wishes he could, since the last few hours probably marks the only time he’ll ever awaken next to her.
[third time's a charm (http://circ-bamboo.livejournal.com/19094.html)]
no subject
One of my rare excursions into present tense (I don't know why I started it that way but I think it works, in that it kind of emphasizes that he can't remember what came before /self-important analysis), this is also a more-clueless-than-usual Pike, in one of the pocket-universes where they sizzle with sexual tension for more years than usual (I tend to want to pitch them into bed ASAP) and Pike, um, pretty much just pines.
I would kind of like to have written this story from One's point of view (or if someone wants to remix it?); I think she is achy, too, and really wants nothing more than to wrap herself around him and Make It All Better.
I don't think he ever remembers but I'm sure he gets another chance to wake up next to her. :-D
no subject
and Pike, um, pretty much just pines.
(there is a deeply bad pun there that I'm not making. instead I will use appropriate icon is appropriate)
no subject
Jamie was so close by, and his brain was clamoring simultaneously to shift to close the distance and to back away. He remained, frozen in place.
“Oh, do you think he’ll have any free time?” Jamie turned his head to look at him, and—his eyes were blue as spring skies, which intellectually McCoy had always known, but the fact hit him like a blow to the gut, with an accompanying stab of arousal that he could no longer deny.
“I don’t know,” he said eventually, his voice gravelly. He coughed and looked down. “I would guess that Lady Eve can plan an entire wedding by herself, without his assistance, in a single afternoon.”
“Probably,” Jamie agreed. He uncrossed his arms and rested his hands against the edge of the desk, staring across the room absently. “Nonetheless, I’ll write him and offer our congratulations and assistance.” He made no move to return behind his desk, despite his words.
“Yes,” McCoy said, and took a deep breath. Lightly, almost hesitantly, he brushed the fingers of his left hand over the back of Jamie’s right hand before settling it into place right next to the younger man’s hand.
Jamie sucked in a breath, looked down at their hands, and then back up. “McCoy, don’t—“ He stopped.
Greatly daring, McCoy said, “I know I’m not wearing pink, but would you care to dance, Lord Riverside?” He held out a hand.
Jamie looked at McCoy’s hand, looked back at his face, and laughed joyfully. He took McCoy’s hand and swung into waltz position, a proper society distance between them. “Pink’s not your color,” he said. “Blue, now, there’s your color.”
“Is that why you keep offering to lend me blue coats?” Jamie’s back was warm under his hand, and although his stomach was still roiling, McCoy was—happy.
“Maybe,” Jamie demurred, and they both laughed.
no subject
First, I did actually write most of this story in order, so by the time I got to that point in Ch. 7, I knew there was no possible way I could pitch Kirk & McCoy into bed together without dragging the story out for another 50K words, to give McCoy time to get used to the whole men thing. He's pretty sure at this moment that he's got feelings for Jamie that go a bit beyond gratitude and brotherhood, and it probably freaks him out less that he's in love with him than the fact that he's attracted to him, but he's still just plain freaked out about everything.
So the best resolution for them would be some sort of "Hey, give me time, but that's definitely not a no" from McCoy.
Jamie had been stuck dancing with a lot of young women he did not want to dance with for the entire story (well, he didn't mind dancing with Eve, but she wasn't his type, as we all know) so I figured it would be nice to let him dance with someone he actually wanted to dance with.
I think they're not wearing gloves here, which is okay since they're at home and not in public, but it also makes it that much racier. ;)
McCoy obviously had to make the first move, since the ball was in his court. And the bit about blue coats was just a riff on medical-blue. :)
no subject
I would kill to read that story. Not that you didn't end in the perfect place...just saying. I was really sucked into their relationship, and the question of how they'd deal with homosexuality in this era was so interesting. :-)
And the bit about blue coats was just a riff on medical-blue.
I picked up on that. \o/
Jamie had been stuck dancing with a lot of young women he did not want to dance with for the entire story (well, he didn't mind dancing with Eve, but she wasn't his type, as we all know) so I figured it would be nice to let him dance with someone he actually wanted to dance with.
But I didn't consciously pick up on this! Although it's so clear and right now that you say it. :-)
I think they're not wearing gloves here, which is okay since they're at home and not in public, but it also makes it that much racier. ;)
HOT! ;-)
Interesting point about McCoy being more freaked out about the physical attraction than the emotions -- makes sense to me.
Thanks for writing this up!
no subject
http://circ-bamboo.livejournal.com/24266.html
no subject
I figured whoever they let teach Hand-to-Hand Combat to the brand-new cadets had to go for the drill-instructor kind of mold, especially if one also happens to be short and female. In my head, when she applied for the job, she had to kick a handful of people's asses in one-on-one combat to get hired, and she did it so fast that it was before anyone particularly noticed. (Twice as good to go half as far, etc.)
The McCoy thing -- she likes 'em a bit more complex (and older, and sarcastic rather than defiant) than Kirk, who clearly (to her, at that point) is just a kid with a chip on his shoulder. She probably recognized Kirk's name when he said it to her but didn't really care if it was George Kirk's kid or not.
(She's not Lt. Sit Down--she's actually short, not just short-compared-to-a-6'2-guy.)
After the story, Jim throws a punch at her, she avoids it neatly, and spends the next ten minutes telling him what's wrong with every single thing he did, in exquisite detail. Jim's okay with this because she's just as brutal to everyone else.
(Anything else you want to know?)
no subject
Seriously, thank you, a lot. I like to think of everything in here, not least Jim getting his ass kicked as a learning experience.
And Trek needs more short women!