My dad falls into the very top part of that age bracket, and he uses the word 'poof'or 'poofter'when he feels the need to comment on a gay man. It's not a judgement-free word, but it falls on the lesser side of derogetory, in my opinion. But then, as I'm not gay, I may well be wrong on this.

I can't comment on 'queer' with any authority. I've heard gay celebs on tv refer to themselves as queers, and in uni I studied queer theory as it relates to literature, but other than that I have no idea. Sorry.